Inner Archeology with Sarah Turner & Emily Pennystone - Video Edition

Nov 16, 2022

Being a parent today isn’t the same as it was when the parents were kids. What are some of the aspects parents from different generations had to deal with?

Emily and Sarah reflect on the generational evolution of parenting, the role of feelings and why it’s OK to acknowledge that there are some issues in your childhood – without this being a judgment of your parents’ way of parenting.

Key Points In Episode:

• Today's conversation was sparked by a weekend Sarah spent with other women talking about all sorts of things, and comparing their way of conversing and giving advice versus her family – her mom in particular.
• Do you use TikTok? That’s where Sarah recently found a video that discussed the differences between our generation’s way of parenting and our parents’ generation's way of parenting.
• The TikTok video kind of made the point of how it must be hard for our parents to see a new generation parenting in a different way, because it can potentially reflect on their parenting, the way they were parented and makes them feel as if they (and their parents) did something wrong.
• It’s OK to look back at things in your childhood and realize that some things may not have been OK. Remember: you may see this as reflection, conversation and personal growth, while, for your parents, this could be you criticizing, whining and complaining. Don’t forget it!
• Are you about to become a mother? Keep in mind that your relationship with your mom is about to experience a big shift. It’s normal, though. Most mothers and daughters go through it.
• Emily believes that there are two ways of looking at things when, as a parent, you realize that your daughter’s way of parenting is different than yours. You either see it as criticism or look at it as ‘I've given my child an opportunity to learn, grow, and do things better than I’ve ever done before.’ Do you agree?
• For Sarah, this parenting debate is part of the generational evolution that happens… and be ready because it will happen with your daughter too.
• Is there something that has served as a catalyst for your personal growth? For Emily, that’s realizing that there were issues in her childhood – even though this doesn’t mean that she doesn’t love her parents.
• As Sarah puts it: ‘You can say something was wrong or wasn’t great for you in your childhood without it necessarily being criticism of your parents per se but more a realization of what happened and they did the best they could with the tools they had. The only example they had was what their parents did.’ #QuoteOfTheDay
• Let’s be honest: we’ve all unintentionally created harm in somebody else’s life. Being able to look at it without having to feel like a bad person is key.
• Have you heard of Divorce Is Not the End of the World? Emily talks about what reading it with her daughter has made her realize.
• Let’s talk about feelings… or let’s… not?!? Unlike today, past generations couldn’t really afford to feel feelings and didn’t have room to talk about them. We’re privileged and we should really value this.

Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:

Inner Archeology Email

Sarah Turner on Instagram

Emily Pennystone on Instagram

@Inner.Archeology on Instagram

InnerArcheology.com

InnerArcheology.tv (video version)

patreon.com/InnerArcheology

Inner Archeology on YouTube

TikTok

Divorce Is Not the End of the World: Zoe and Evan’s Coping Guide for Kids by Zoe and Evan Stern